Relaxed parenting

As a child, I remember my mother being uptight about a lot of stuff, but particularly, dirt as it relates to personal appearance. I think she might have felt that if I were seen to be dirty, it would somehow reflect on her abilities as a mother. I guess all mothers feel that way to some extent, but she took it to extremes.

 

So I've tried to be a bit more relaxed about dirt. Case in point, last night the girls were out playing with their dad in the garden, and at one point I peeked out and Charlie had removed her pants, and her shirt was only hanging on by a thread. She was filthy, and happy. Pippa was still clothed, but also filthy and happy. I was not bothered by this in the least. Which isn't to say that I'd let them be feral at the local playground or anything, but we were in our own backyard. 

Enter the kids from next door. I went out to help Charlie with something, and there were four kids hanging over the fence, and they asked me to put some pants on Charlie, because she was showing them her bottom. They were young kids, maybe 5 years old or so. As I went to find some pants for Charlie, I heard them say "Eeeewwwww, look at her face!" (Pippa had been sampling dirt again, and had a huge smear of dirt on her mouth). I know they are only kids, but I wanted to say Hey, it's dirt - kids are supposed to be dirty! I felt like I had to defend myself to a bunch of 5-year-olds.

 

Am  I TOO relaxed, or is the world just getting too uptight about kids being kids?

 

And on the "Am I too relaxed?" front, I've got a scenario that needs your opinions.

 

I have used this phrase about 20 times in the last week:

 

"Get off your sister, she's not a pony!"

 

Yeah, I'm serious. I wish I was making it up.

So at what point do I wash my hands and let them figure it out for themselves? At what point do I let Pippa decide whether she wants to be a pony or not?

 

XOXO,

Sarah