Grief Is Weird
When you are separated by oceans and years, grief is bizarre. When you pray for a loved one's healing, yet the healing does not come in this life, it is even more bizarre. You are devastated that they no longer walk this earth, but overjoyed at their release from pain and suffering. I haven't seen my stepmom (Mom, since I've never called her my stepmom - much to the confusion of anyone who has heard me talk about her) in 13 years. Not because of a falling out or anything traumatic - just...life I guess. We've had a full-on 13 years with four children, special needs, moving houses, changing schools, sort of FIFO-ing, and all the rest. Then we planned to go visit, but Covid-19. Her death isn't necessarily a shock, because she was ill. But not being able to say goodbye has kicked me in the heart, and I feel as though it might actually stop beating, if I give in to the emotion lingering behind my caffeine-infused facade. Of course it's okay to grieve, but the th