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Showing posts from August, 2009

Going away

We're going away for the night, returning tomorrow evening.   Can I just say that sometimes, I'd rather just stay home? Seriously, the effort and planning that is required (and often procrastinated) is astonishing. And mostly, I think it's a lot of effort because I'm trying to perform multiple tasks with only two hands.   So for the record, it's not physically possible (and it will make you nuts if you try) to do all of the following at one time, if you are indeed one human being and assuming you are not a superhero:   Supervise children Clean house (and keep it clean while children are awake) Pack clothing Do Laundry Eat breakfast   Something's gotta give. Since I'm having McDonald's for lunch, I'll skip breakfast, although I suspect that not eating is what's making me feel so snarky this morning.   Now I'd better go, because one of the girls is asleep, and I really need to get the car packed.   XOXO, Sarah

What did I learn this weekend?

First the funny, then the serious. Or maybe they'll be mixed together.   First, I seem to have rather a high opinion of myself. In spite of feeling like a failure all the time, I seem to have this elevated opinion of myself in the "what a good mom should be capable of" arena. Case in point: I went to this weekend conference with the kids, and I won't lie - it was HARD. Physically, emotionally, and in all other ways, completely life-draining. But here's the thing. As was pointed out to me by my lovely mother-in-law, ALL the other mums with little ones there this weekend, were there as part of a couple. Meaning TWO parents, not one. They all had help. And yet, I seem to think I'm so special that I should be able to do it on my own, without any help, because I'm just that good. See where this is going?   Next: I am in fact, not really all that special. Now don't get your knickers in a knot - I am special in that there is no one like me. W

Out of town

But just for the weekend. I'm taking the girls to a conference with me, called Fire On The Mountain  . The seminar I'm planning on attending is titled "Nailing Narcissus to the Cross: Redemption and Self-Esteem". It's something I struggle with a lot, so I'm really looking forward to hearing what he has to say.   Anyways, since I haven't even begun to gather anything for the girls over the weekend, and the house is just not clean enough for me to leave it just yet, and I'm still technically in my pjs, I'd best scoot. We'll be back on Monday, ready to impart some words of wisdom from the weekend.   XOXO, Sarah

So maybe I just won't be quite as vocal about it...

Something dawned on me today.   I complain a lot. And I'm not saying that I don't deserve to say "I'm struggling", but what I realised is that by saying that all the time, I'm probably alienating people. People I care about very deeply. So yes, life is still hard. But maybe I won't talk about that quite as much. Because there is a lot of beauty in the world as well. And if we all focused more on the beautiful, then maybe life would be a bit easier. Like instead of getting upset because your 2 1/2 year old chewed up crayons again, just admire the drawing that was made before the crayons were chewed up. Or maybe just take a photo of it, for future amusement.   XOXO, Sarah

You can't make this stuff up...

So I'm still feeling a bit low. But the most amazing thing happened to me this morning, and I just had to share it with everyone.   I was at home, considering staying home from church today. I didn't really feel like socialising with anyone, and the girls have a bit of the local germfest happening. I just wasn't in the right headspace. So I was all set to stay home, and then my friend rang, asking if I could sing in her place today, as her boys are all sick. Now I don't know what you all would make of that, but I took it as a message from God - "get your butt to church, missy!" So I said yes, even though it would mean wrangling a toddler and a not-quite preschooler all on my own, while at the same time trying to sing. Not usually on top of the 'fun' list.   But something happened in my heart today.   It was so subtle at first. A few of the passages in the songs, they just reached inside me, and gripped my heart with such force, I cou

After a while, crocodile

I'm taking a break. I'm experiencing a low period, and just want to withdraw for a bit. So I'm turning off my computer, and I can't tell you when I'll be back. I don't know, because I don't know how long this low will last. I just know that what little energy and will I have, needs to be focused into getting through it. Nothing has happened to bring this on, and I think it's been coming for a while, but I've been too busy to heed the warning signs. God is good, though - and He will be with me, even in the darkness. So it will be okay. I really believe that, it's not just a line to convince myself (or you). I will see you all on the other side of this chasm, as soon as God and I figure out a way to cross it.   XOXO, Sarah

Miscellaneous

I think the maid has quit. And without notice, too. How rude! She just stopped showing up, so now my house is in desperate need of a good clean. And it's that one day per month today, the day when I don't feel like doing anything but spooning a hot water bottle and eating a bag of chips the size of a doghouse. Which I won't do, because thankfully, a bag that large doesn't exist. And we don't have a hot water bottle. So I'll just push through it.   We've signed up to do this marriage course, through the church. They provide a meal and childcare, to make it easy for folks to attend. I have to admit, that those are the two things that would prevent us from going, so their reasoning is sound. Plus, it starts at 5:00, so it's not a late night either. I've been told it's a really good course, so I'm looking forward to it.   We went on a little mini-holiday this last weekend, to a place called Stanthorpe. It was fabulous. We tasted w