Stuff to Do

I am struggling with breastfeeding. A lot. It's mainly to do with the fact that I've got ginormous milk holders and T-Rex arms. Plus, Philippa likes to have her hands up by her face, so no matter how hard I hold them out of the way, she manages to get them in the way. It's so unbelievably frustrating. I watch other people breastfeed, and it looks so easy, so enjoyable. What am I doing wrong? Other people can actually have a snack, or surf the Internet, or have a drink while feeding. I've got to use the one free hand I have to hold the breast up, because if I don't, the weight of it causes it to slip out of her mouth. How am I going to last 10 more months?!? I don't want to be dependent on having a pillow like I was with Charlotte. I'm not going to haul a pillow with me out to the shops, or playgroup, or anywhere else we go. I must be doing something wrong here. Also, she's still doing the on-again, off-again approach. Books don't talk a

You know, one of the many things that just plain stinks about my dad being gone is that because my bio-mom isn't speaking to me, I now have no one to ask questions about what I was like as a baby. What was my first word? What foods did I eat? Was I always a pea-hater, or was it something I just picked up? Even though I've got my mom (stepmother who isn't at all a stereotypical stepmother, but rather the antithesis of Cinderella's stepmother), she didn't know me when I was a baby. So in a sense, I feel as though I'm an orphan. Like I've lost the first 5 years of my life, because I was too little to remember much, and now there isn't anyone I can ask. On a different note, we are about to enter a new phase of toddlerhood - toilet training. *Cue big tympani sounds* Charlotte is definitely not happy about poo. She had an accident in the bathtub the other week, and it really freaked her out - she tells me she is doing poo, but she also tells me s