Missing my Dad, and some other stuff

You know, one of the many things that just plain stinks about my dad being gone is that because my bio-mom isn't speaking to me, I now have no one to ask questions about what I was like as a baby. What was my first word? What foods did I eat? Was I always a pea-hater, or was it something I just picked up? Even though I've got my mom (stepmother who isn't at all a stereotypical stepmother, but rather the antithesis of Cinderella's stepmother), she didn't know me when I was a baby. So in a sense, I feel as though I'm an orphan. Like I've lost the first 5 years of my life, because I was too little to remember much, and now there isn't anyone I can ask.
On a different note, we are about to enter a new phase of toddlerhood - toilet training. *Cue big tympani sounds* Charlotte is definitely not happy about poo. She had an accident in the bathtub the other week, and it really freaked her out - she tells me she is doing poo, but she also tells me she's doing it when she's not. So even though if it was really there, we'd be able to smell it, which eliminates (no pun intended, but it is funny) the need to check it every single time she says she's done it, I check it. 4 out of 5 times it's nothing, but I think she's absolutely paranoid about having dirty pants now, thanks to the bathtub episode. So now she tells us when she thinks that possibly something might be happening. She also lets us know that she knows if we've passed wind, by announcing "Poo" and waving her hand in front of her scrunched up face. Priceless.
And on a third note, Philippa is giving me some 'tude about feeding. She can't decide if she wants to be on or off, which is a tad frustrating at 1AM, when all I want to do is go back to sleep, and it takes an hour to accomplish what used to take 30 minutes, tops. Plus, I'm not as confident about how much she's taking in when we're all stop-start-stop-start-stop-start. Any suggestions? I've been eating pretty well, and drinking more water, so I think the supply is okay, but I suppose I could be wrong. It's been known to happen (shocking, I know).
Well, the little one's just woken up to eat, so this is all I have time for today. Perhaps I'll have something else tomorrow.
XOXO,
Sarah

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