Blessed- an accidental lesson from a 4yo aspiring tattooist

 Things have been challenging lately, and I am burned out. I spend a lot of time spaced out, but functional. My reasoning (and I'm not even suggesting that it's healthy, or even logical, but it's real for me) is that it's not happy, but happy can be taken away - and not sad is better than sad, so I maintain a neutral state for most of the day. It's a lot less effort I suppose - and when I'm already more tired than a toddler after a day at Disney, I'm looking for low effort. 

But back to the 4yo tattooist...

Sunday I was feeling pretty flat. It was a challenging week, with a lot of appointments, responsibilities, and hard emotional coregulation. So I was on the fence about going to church, until it was looking like there wouldn't be a lot of people to help with cleaning up and serving snacks after the service. Now I wasn't feeling guilty, or obligated. It was more like I could feel someone standing next to me, saying "SEE?? You are a valuable member of this church family, and I need you there. You are not invisible, and you will be missed. This is where you should be."

So I decided that I would go, and instantly, the heaviness lifted. It was as if my whole being had been tube fed a triple-shot espresso. 

I have never had a triple-shot espresso, I can only imagine how that would interact with ADHD meds - but it's the metaphor that came to mind, so here we are. 

So I went to church, stopping on the way for some snacks to share with my church family - 

Side note: I should not be sent to do this when I am feeling tired but hungry and excited. I purchased oreos, chocolate bars, and brownies, and made my way there. Dropped my snacks off, and breathed in the life-giving teaching and fellowship. After the service, we mingled in the crowd, bearing platters of snacks serving people - and at one point, when most everyone had gone home, a young child came up to me with a huge grin and a rubber ink stamp. She asked me if I wanted a stamp, and I said "You bet!" so she inked both hands enthusiastically, then I thanked her and she bounced off to the next customer. Later on, she came back for another round, so I offered her the inside of my forearm - and she inked me in the same spot about 10 times, to make sure it showed up. 

I looked at it, and it took a second to be able to make out what the image was - and it was a bumblebee, with one word above it. 

Blessed.

I couldn't make it out, but it was there. And I thought later, that sometimes that's just how God works. As a woman who loves Jesus, and tries to follow him well, I am always blessed. Not without adversity - but in the adversity, there is always blessing. Sometimes we can't see it, because it's a mess like that temporary stamp tattoo. But if we look hard enough, we will see it. Sometimes in the darkest places, the blessing is simply the hope of future light. But it's there, if we can hang on. 

Look for the blessing today, in every circumstance. It's there, I promise. 

XO, Sarah