Stuff to Do

It's a grey rainy day, so there isn't a lot going on. I will probably vacuum the floors after Charlotte goes to sleep, and then sit down and have a cuppa with God. Maybe nap a bit, maybe not. I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today, as I had a bit of trouble falling asleep last night. More related to my Dad and waiting for a phone call than pregnancy. I also woke up early this morning (6:00 AM), and couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up and made tea for us, checked my email, did a Bible study, made Charlotte's breakfast, and just had some quiet time to myself. It was nice to just be alone with my thoughts for a bit. Now I'm back to downstairs to see what my unusually quiet child is exploring. Love, Sarah

Ah, I see. It's because Charlotte found it in her baby memory box, pulled it out, and brought it into the bathroom, but had to drop it to pick up the yellow fish bath toy that clearly belonged in Mum & Dad's room, where she then found my bedroom slipper which (I can't believe I didn't catch on to this sooner) obviously goes in the room where the toilet is. I am thankful that she hasn't discovered yet the joys of unrolling the toilet paper, or throwing things in the actual toilet. I talked to my Dad today, for what will likely be the last time. We made sure to cover the important things, and then I rambled on for 10 minutes about everyday stuff, so we wouldn't have to talk about him dying. Mom says that it's day to day now, and that she'll call me when he passes. Honestly, I am so glad to not see him like this. He doesn't even sound like my Daddy. He sounds all confused, and small. That's not how I want to remember him. I'm so glad I had a

Two things: One, I am not going to apologise for existing any longer. When someone asks me about myself, I always talk about Charlotte and Lachlan, as if I don't exist except for them. No wonder I feel invisible - I treat myself that way! So you may notice a few changes here on my blog from now on - I'll still write about motherhood, marriage, and the whole mess, but I'm not censoring myself any longer. I am who I am, and while it's good for people to like me, I will not cram myself into a mold of who I think other people expect me to be. Because honestly? Life is too short for anything else. I don't often stop to think about my life as a whole, because quite honestly, I'm just too busy to do it. But in a nutshell, the last two years have involved a "miscarriage", two moves (one international), two pregnancies, culture shock x 2, birth, death in the family, my dad's cancer, and now his impending death. Add to that the normal everyday struggles and