Stuff to Do

I visited with a friend yesterday, and was lamenting how the chaos of the mornings and afternoons is causing me great distress. The noise, the mess - all of it. I am struggling to embrace the lovelier things because of the noise and mess. She encouraged me by saying that in those moments, I could think about how to fix it. By fixing it instead of freaking out, I avoid the panic. Genius. Last night, I could feel the frustration over all the mess that was left for me, and rather than let it creep into my every molecule to be vented all over my children, I prayed. A generic, "help me" kind of prayer, that God would help me to just be present with my children, and to not think about the mess. And HE DID. We got through bedtime peacefully, and when my youngest daughter came to me frightened and unable to fall asleep, I invited her up on my lap while I finished chatting with #2 daughter, and then I took her to bed and sat with her (okay, I fell asleep with her) until she was as

All the things I should have said to you must remain unspoken. I have to settle for writing them out here, which is only a poor substitute. I should have written you every day, telling you all about our children, and how wonderful they are. I should have sent you cards and notes, and called you on the phone. Even the most trivial of things would have been of deep interest to you, I'm certain of it. I should have shared my experiences of motherhood with you, and asked for your advice. I should have asked for your recipes for rice pudding, baked corn. I should have asked you what my father was like as a boy, and told you stories of our son, who reminds me of him. I didn't, and now it is too late. I have so many happy memories of childhood; you are in most of them. Time spent at the cottage with the other cousins, going to Vacation Bible School, those plaster of paris fruit molds when we learned about the Fruits of the Spirit. Chef Boyardee pizza in a box, fried squash, sno