You know those random thoughts?

The ones that pop into your head, and you can't get rid of them? The ones that happen betweem 1 and 3 in the morning? I had one of those last night, and it's still with me.
 
Charlie woke up inexplicably but predictably around 1am. I got up, settled her, but I was back in bed no longer than 3 minutes when she woke again. This time, to save myself more trips, I just brought her back to bed with me. When she had fallen asleep, I was lying there awake. And nauseated. And the thought hit me- what if I'm pregnant? Of course then I started thinking that I'd been so careful, but there was that one day where I *nearly* missed a pill, but thought I'd caught it in the 12 hour window. But surely not...
And then my mind jumped to the logistics of having a third child in this time frame. On the plus side, he/she would be born sometime in February, when Charlie is in preschool. And I've already had two at home 18 months apart, so having two at home 21 months apart would be hard, but no more difficult than what I've already done. Then I thought about all the stuff that you have to buy for babies, and all the extra nappies, extra laundry, etc. And then you want to know what I thought? Absolutely nothing, because even if it did turn out that I was pregnant, I know it would be okay. It makes me actually hope that I am a little. Because 3 children feels right to me - as though our family would be complete. I should know in a couple of days whether I am or not, but you know what? It doesn't matter. Either way, it will all be okay. God's peace is upon me - now if it could just have been  upon me at 1am!
 
Cheers,
Sarah

Comments

Krista said…
Wow, that's a crazy thought! Good luck to you either way!
May 18, 2009 at 11:45 AM
Sarah said…
Thanks, Krista - I'm trying to just take it as it comes, and not get too crazy about either outcome - it's in God's hands!
May 18, 2009 at 1:04 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

24 hours later...

Philippa Jane was born this morning at 3:53AM, weighing 5 pounds 12 1/2 ounces. Pictures have been taken, but haven't been uploaded to the computer yet. The birth was perfect, and we're both well - and obviously, home less than 24 hours later. Taking a few days to rest and get to know each other. Photos and birth story to follow in a few days! XOXO, Sarah
Keep reading

Sorry for the long absence...

I’ve been a little busy. My waters broke unexpectedly, starting a chain of events that ended in the birth of our third daughter, M. I was in hospital for a week, and was taken care of by many lovely midwives, nurses, and doctors. We came home on Wednesday, and I’ve been taken care of by my husband and his mum, which has allowed me to ease back into life. Friends have offered help in various ways, such as transporting C to and from preschool, advice, comfort, meals, PRAYER!!!, and just plain old company, which does wonders for this weary soul. My husband has been amazing in so many ways, but especially in his eagerness to help out with more domestic things. The fact that he is willing to do these things takes off that bit of pressure, and means that as and when I’m able to do it, I can – but don’t feel like I HAVE to. So I’m recuperating well, and so far don’t feel too overwhelmed. Just thankful to see my little? family completed, and enjoying each moment. Even the ones filled with poo,...
Keep reading

I can not control the universe and everyone in it!

A very wise friend of mine said to me recently, "You can't control 'x', it's not your job." ( the 'x' is mine, as I don't feel like explaining what 'x' is representing) And she's right. I'm trying to do God's job again, because things aren't happening as quickly as I think they should. It's not like I don't know that, so why do I keep coming up against it? Nearly all the stress I'm feeling is simply because I'm trying to handle more than I need to. It's just so hard to let go, you know? I have about 3 situations that are completely out of my control, and two of those are a result of the third. So my friends, please pray for me. Pray that God will unclench my fingers, so I can let go of these heavy, heavy burdens.   Now on to the parenting bits. I'm struggling, I admit. So what else is new? We've encountered a new kind of interesting behaviour - shoving and hitting. Not each other, but...
Keep reading