3 years

3 years today since I arrived in this land.

 

With each passing day, I feel less foreign. This is my life now, and I think I'm beginning to accept that my old life, with all its comforts and familiarities, is in the past.

 

The harsh reality is that the more children I have, the harder it is for me to make trips back there. It's not that I don't love my family and friends over there, because I do. It's just that I can't afford the airfare for me, and the two girls. The only way I could do it is if I went on my own, and I just don't feel right about leaving them behind for a few weeks. Maybe when they're school aged, it will be different, but right now, I feel that my responsibility is to them. It's a hard pill to swallow, mostly because of how I think other people will be affected by this reality. I hate disappointing people, and this is a pretty massive disappointment. So even though I feel confident that this is the right thing for now, I am fearful of letting my family in the US down.

 

On a more cheerful note, I've found a shop over here that sells Yankee Candles - and they do internet orders! I still can't afford them, but it's nice to know that they're available...

 

We're all hibernating today, as we've got an illness sweeping through our family which I suspect is flu-like in nature. Not swine flu, as there haven't been any cases where we live. I think it's just your garden variety flu bug. But I'm not a doctor, I'm just Mom. With Charlie, Lachlan, and yours truly all coughing and achy and tired, I'm sure Pippa is soon to follow. I'll wait a minute while you go sanitize your hands. :-)

 

I'm supposed to go out running tonight, and I'm debating as to whether it's a good idea. On the one hand, I won't really be in direct contact with anyone, but on the other hand, how will it make me feel tomorrow? Will I still be able to care for the kids, or will I be too depleted? Hmmm.

 

That's all I've got for today...

Love,

Sarah