ADHD and Motherhood

How has ADHD impacted me as a mother?

Prioritisation-

Before I started medication, (or when it wears off) I could not prioritise anything. I literally could not look at my epic and delusional to-do lists and make a decision about things I could let go of or put off for another day. I could not prioritise household tasks. I would see all of it, get overwhelmed and not be able to start. 

Procrastination-

I have always been able to achieve incredible things under pressure. What I've learned is that I need adrenaline in order to help me focus, especially in tasks that are less enjoyable, or unpleasant. I would rather get up at 5am and race to clean the kitchen than go back to it after I've finally got the kids to bed. Yes, I hate getting up early, but I need that adrenaline burst to help me get started. 

Caffeine-

We've all seen the memes about motherhood and coffee, right? I had four children in five years. Of course I'm obsessed with coffee! When demands are low, a strong cup of coffee in the morning is enough to get me moving. In more challenging seasons of motherhood, I could drink it all day and just feel completely numb. It is in those challenging times I roll out medication because it's physically impossible (and stupid) to consume enough caffeine to do the job. 

Emotional regulation - 

This is a huge part of my experience. I feel all the feelings, in a very big way. But I am also a bit of an empath, so I also feel all of the big feelings that my kids are feeling. If someone is having a meltdown, I'm gonna join them. Not exactly helpful when I'm supposed to be teaching the kids to regulate their emotions, but that's what happens. 

Time blindness-

If I am hyper focused on something, I cannot feel time passing. Similarly, I do not know how long tasks take unless I use a timer. There is so much pressure as an adult to be on time. As a mother of kids with additional needs, we have so many appointments, and it's important to be on time. My kids need to be on time to school, so I need to be able to sense time, in order to help them manage their time. 

Before medication, I didn't know why all these things were so freaking hard. I just thought I was defective or something. Now that I have access to medication, I can tune out things that aren't important, I can drink coffee purely because I enjoy it, and I can (for the most part) be the adult in a crisis. I have a better understanding of how my brain works, and that knowledge has enabled me to do things I've wanted to do for a long time. It's helped me to say no to things, which is a big deal when you've been a people pleaser your whole life. Getting a diagnosis wasn't about shifting the blame for my failings, but about being able to understand how I was different. Not defective, but different. 

XO, Sarah