Lest anyone think...

I know that I've been sharing with some of you my latest attempt at the responsible and loving parenting of a 2 1/2 year old girl, and in sharing that, I might have mentioned that I felt as though I was shouting and smacking all day long. Lest anyone think I am a Mean and Horrible Mother, I wanted to say that I was not, in fact, smacking and shouting all day. It just felt that way. As anyone knows, when you are in the midst of something unpleasant, be it a pap smear done by a first-timer, 20 1/2 hour labour, or a really bad blind date (I've had all of these, and trust me - they are all interminable!) it seems like it takes forever. For. Ever.

I just noticed that not only was I tense and angry all the time, but that Charlie was very "shouty" as well.

 

I've got great kids - as far as kids go, I've hit the kid lottery. They are relatively good eaters, sleepers, they are generally extremely obedient, and are gentle with other children. They are pretty good at sharing, and are affectionate with each other, and with other people. They are not shy for the most part, and are just very very curious little creatures. God made them that way so they could learn about their surroundings. I'm learning to appreciate them and love them and see them through God's eyes, and not my own. And it's really changed the way I see their behaviour. For example:

 

My stepson and his mother are visiting with us for a month. I hadn't even considered that Charlie would be jealous of the attention her Daddy gave to J. She barely even registered when Pippa was born, so why would this bother her? Well, since they've been here, the number of incidents has increased exponentially. Dinner time has become a series of "I don't like dinner"s, Bedtime practically impossible, and trying to contain her or entertain her when Daddy is spending time with J outside is just not happening. She either escapes, or stands at the door screaming for Daddy. Last night she wouldn't go to sleep, and finally we just left her in there, to sort herself out. Well - she was quiet so we *mistakenly* assumed she had gone to sleep. Then she started calling out, so we went in to sort her out and all the bags that we  hadn't yet unpacked from the last 4 days? Yeah - they had been ransacked. She opened up some biscuits, had a snack, opened up the textas (markers), had a little colouring spree that included the sheets, her teeth, hands, and face, her bed, and some of the biscuits. She shredded up the paper insert that was in the package, tipped out some juice that she found in one of the bags, tipped out all the toiletries. I was just thankful that it wasn't poop, to be honest. When I walked in and saw the aforementioned havoc, I just had this little moment when I realised that she was acting out of jealousy. So we calmly cleaned up the mess, and Lachlan spent a bit of time with her lying on the bed, and she was fine.

 

Most of us learn about parenting from our own parents - mine sadly, did not provide me with many valuable lessons on positive parenting. My lessons came later, when I met my amazing stepmother, whom I like to call MOM! Unfortunately, while I learned about parenting teenage girls, until the girls reach puberty - I'm on my own. I'm learning as I go, and I'm learning what works (time-out and the naughty seat), and what doesn't (shouting and smacking). I love my girls, and I want to teach them what wasn't taught to me. I know they're watching and listening, so this is my opportunity to learn and teach at the same time. I don't want to mess this up, you know? It's too important.

 

XOXO,

Sarah