Stuff to Do

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I was going through all the items there are to accomplish today. And it’s a formidable list, to be sure. I started to get a bit overwhelmed, and started wondering how the heck I was going to get it all accomplished, and pre-emptively feeling like a failure because I knew I wouldn’t get through it all. And then the codeine took over, and I slept. Until 2am, when C pounded on her door and called out “Mommy!” For the record, there was no intruder, she was just cold. Probably because she took off her socks and kicked off the covers. So we swapped places, and I slept in her bed, she snuggled up with L, and we resumed our sleep. But then this morning, I read this devotion, and what it said to me was that I need to serve like I’ve been saved. Which I have. In a huge way! Think about it – if someone saved your life, you’d be pretty much eternally grateful to them. You’d want to show them how appreciative you are. And God has saved me from the life ...

Since I’m not quite well enough to praise God in church today, I will praise Him from home. By making every effort to excel at the mission which He has called me to. Caring for my family and home. By loving them in word and deed. With all that is in me. In serving them, I am serving Him. May I strive to do that all the days of my life. XOXO, Sarah

I’ve been kind of quiet lately, I know. Everything is okay, I just haven’t felt like writing. And this morning, I’m in rather a foul mood, so probably shouldn’t write anything, lest I sound ungrateful. I am aware of my many blessings, and I am extremely thankful. This is a season. I will not always be pregnant, I will not always have such small children, and someday (dare to dream?) I will get more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep. Someday my sugar bowl will remain on the kitchen counter unmolested. Someday I will wear clothing that isn’t stained, ripped, or the wrong size. Someday I will smell nice (in the meantime, thank the Lord for perfume!). Someday, I will no longer need to know whether my children have pooped. And I will look back on this season, and my memory will be fuzzy. The stress and frustration I feel now will be forgotten. Until then, you’ll have to excuse me because I hear the sugar bowl in the lounge room. Sigh... XOXO, Sarah

So a remark was made last night, and I took it personally. In reality, it wasn’t personal. But in my hormonally-overwrought state, I overreacted. And spent a good hour last night sulking and crying, thinking of how unfair it all was. And then this morning, as I began to write out my to-do list, those feelings returned with a vengeance. And I prayed for God to help me to serve my family without anger or resentment today. To help me WANT to serve them. To enjoy serving them, and by serving them, serving Him. Then I turned to today’s devotional – The title? (I am SO not making this up!) “It’s Not Fair!”. The context was a bit different, but the message was crystal clear. As I read the daily readings, and did my Bible study for today, I began to feel the dark cloud of worldly gloom lift, and although my to-do list is still quite impressive, I’m only focusing on one task at a time. That’s all I can do anyway. I mean, without a live-in maid, a house elf, or a couple of extra hours in the day...

8am - Guess what I learned yesterday? Doing a big shop with both girls is no longer an option for me. I was having all kinds of crazy Braxton-Hicks last night, blurry vision, unbelievably tired, mentally vague, and I just felt off all over (like I was 39 weeks pregnant, and not 26). Still do. Ugh. Apparently there IS a limitation to my superpowers. And today’s devotion? About asking for help? Yeah – message received, Lord. If only that had been yesterday’s devotional topic. Anyway, I’ve asked my good friend to pick C up and take her to preschool, and hopefully I’ll get a big fat nap in, and feel a bit better by this afternoon. At any rate, I’ve got to make her lunch for preschool, and put on some laundry on, because I’m out of clean clothes again. Sigh. I’ll continue this a bit later, and let you know how I’m progressing through the day. 1:20pm – After a nap, I actually feel worse. But life goes on, right? I’ve not done a lick of housework today, so things are at best, untidy. At worst...

I read John 15 today, and it occurred to me that as I’ve been getting more and more tired, stressed, angry, and resentful, I’ve been following this particular instruction less and less. Coincidence? I think not. It’s been so easy to fall off this wagon. But I don’t like the person I’m becoming without God’s word imprinted daily on my heart. So though I’m weary, though I’m worn, I will reach up for His hand, and allow Him to lift me back to a higher place through His strength, not my own. And today’s devotion was about perseverance. The context for me is completely different, but I think it still applies. Motherhood, domesticity, wifehood – it’s really, really, really hard. Housework is endless, and at the end of the day, when the children are in bed, it looks a bit like someone has broken into our house. I heave a deep sigh, dig in, and clean it all up. Again. That takes perseverance. Cleaning something that you KNOW will be dirty again. Picking up toys that you’ll undoubtedly pick up...