School Holidays
Or alternatively, "Two weeks in which I become slightly irrationally motivated to solve every single problem/challenge/dilemma."
Yes, my dear ones. Freed from the shackles of school morning circus tent-level stress, I rediscover that creative section of my brain, and ALL of the ideas flow. The temptation to dive in is very strong, I admit.
But. (There's always a but. And suddenly the word 'but' looks weird, like is it really a word? Of course it is, but it still looks weird.)
Moving on.
I do a lot of thinking while driving, and for a stay-at-home parent, I do a strange amount of driving. Yesterday though, I was on my way to an appointment, and I was thinking that the process I'd started last year, of working towards wellness, got rather derailed. Having resumed the process, I have observed that I am the only one who can make my self-care a priority. I really hate this phrase. The word 'self' in particular. I cannot even explain why. Again, I digress. But the physiotherapy I started- stalled. The dietitian? Also stalled. The exercise plan? Stalled. The "do one thing each day that makes me happy?" Stalled. It all goes back to some posts I wrote a while back, about boundaries. Basically, I still lack the ability to enforce or defend my own personal boundaries. So things like self-care, being firm, consistent, and in general, adulting - are extremely difficult.
Two days ago I was dreading school holidays. Two long weeks of "leave the dog alone", of constant vigilance, of refereeing ridiculous arguments, of being expected to remember everything for everyone, of being outnumbered, touched out, noised out, and burned out. This is exactly the right time to start putting in place some effective personal boundaries and then learning how to defend them. Modelling this for our children is so unbelievably important, and I have to learn how to do this.
Having reached out for help, and having been blessed by multiple people, I feel much better about the holidays. I am not only seeing the challenges as something to be dreaded. I am seeing them as opportunities to grow and develop new habits, to gain confidence, and to firmly plant my feet on the path to wellness. A chance to remember how to enjoy my life, rather than just survive each day.
I'm going to try and keep a paper journal of how it's all going, and update this space when school returns. In order to make the most of this precious time, I am taking a digital break.
XO,
Sarah
Yes, my dear ones. Freed from the shackles of school morning circus tent-level stress, I rediscover that creative section of my brain, and ALL of the ideas flow. The temptation to dive in is very strong, I admit.
But. (There's always a but. And suddenly the word 'but' looks weird, like is it really a word? Of course it is, but it still looks weird.)
Moving on.
I do a lot of thinking while driving, and for a stay-at-home parent, I do a strange amount of driving. Yesterday though, I was on my way to an appointment, and I was thinking that the process I'd started last year, of working towards wellness, got rather derailed. Having resumed the process, I have observed that I am the only one who can make my self-care a priority. I really hate this phrase. The word 'self' in particular. I cannot even explain why. Again, I digress. But the physiotherapy I started- stalled. The dietitian? Also stalled. The exercise plan? Stalled. The "do one thing each day that makes me happy?" Stalled. It all goes back to some posts I wrote a while back, about boundaries. Basically, I still lack the ability to enforce or defend my own personal boundaries. So things like self-care, being firm, consistent, and in general, adulting - are extremely difficult.
Two days ago I was dreading school holidays. Two long weeks of "leave the dog alone", of constant vigilance, of refereeing ridiculous arguments, of being expected to remember everything for everyone, of being outnumbered, touched out, noised out, and burned out. This is exactly the right time to start putting in place some effective personal boundaries and then learning how to defend them. Modelling this for our children is so unbelievably important, and I have to learn how to do this.
Having reached out for help, and having been blessed by multiple people, I feel much better about the holidays. I am not only seeing the challenges as something to be dreaded. I am seeing them as opportunities to grow and develop new habits, to gain confidence, and to firmly plant my feet on the path to wellness. A chance to remember how to enjoy my life, rather than just survive each day.
I'm going to try and keep a paper journal of how it's all going, and update this space when school returns. In order to make the most of this precious time, I am taking a digital break.
XO,
Sarah
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