Who I Am...
Another year gone. Wow.
I was reflecting on life, as people seem to do on New Year's Eve. It occurred to me that this move to a new place, while a good thing, wasn't quite the magic wand that I had expected it to be. There's a lesson to be learned there. My expectations are, 99% of the time, crazy-stupid-high. And in all my life, I don't know that I've ever been able to confidently define who I am which is where I need to start in order to know who I want to be. With that in mind, I've begun with the following list:
I am a Jesus-loving, coffee-drinking, kitchen-ninja. I am a big-hearted, incredibly sensitive, creative being. I read books like other people breathe, I enjoy solitude, and I crave order and routine. I feel anxious when things are crazy. I have panic attacks sometimes. I have a wicked temper (working on that one!). I love doing laundry, but hate putting it away. I struggle with consistency...sometimes. I eat my feelings (God is really spoiling this one for me), and I've got a LOT of feelings. I get depressed sometimes. I cry - at everything. Sometimes a clarinet solo can set me off. I have a way with words. I speak FOOD as a primary love language, and if that's not a thing it so should be a thing. I dream big, and achieve small. I see beauty in small things. I have almost no social filter. I am funny as heck, and LOVE to make people laugh.
All those aspects of me, and so many more, fit together to make a beautiful person made in God's own image. I'm pretty awesome, in fact - because God made me that way.
So who I want to be is all that, unapologetically. Spell check doesn't like that word, but I'm a writer, so it's all good. To love all the parts of me, and accept them as part of who I am, while being refined into a better version of all those things. Particularly the temper thing, that needs a lot of work. To create, establish, and maintain personal boundaries, so that I don't come back to the version of me who actually thought that she wasn't deserving of happiness until everyone else was happy. Crazy, right?
So that's it - no reservations, no goals. Just a desire to finally love and care for the amazing and wonderful person that is Sarah.
Happy New Year with Abundant Love,
Sarah
I was reflecting on life, as people seem to do on New Year's Eve. It occurred to me that this move to a new place, while a good thing, wasn't quite the magic wand that I had expected it to be. There's a lesson to be learned there. My expectations are, 99% of the time, crazy-stupid-high. And in all my life, I don't know that I've ever been able to confidently define who I am which is where I need to start in order to know who I want to be. With that in mind, I've begun with the following list:
I am a Jesus-loving, coffee-drinking, kitchen-ninja. I am a big-hearted, incredibly sensitive, creative being. I read books like other people breathe, I enjoy solitude, and I crave order and routine. I feel anxious when things are crazy. I have panic attacks sometimes. I have a wicked temper (working on that one!). I love doing laundry, but hate putting it away. I struggle with consistency...sometimes. I eat my feelings (God is really spoiling this one for me), and I've got a LOT of feelings. I get depressed sometimes. I cry - at everything. Sometimes a clarinet solo can set me off. I have a way with words. I speak FOOD as a primary love language, and if that's not a thing it so should be a thing. I dream big, and achieve small. I see beauty in small things. I have almost no social filter. I am funny as heck, and LOVE to make people laugh.
All those aspects of me, and so many more, fit together to make a beautiful person made in God's own image. I'm pretty awesome, in fact - because God made me that way.
So who I want to be is all that, unapologetically. Spell check doesn't like that word, but I'm a writer, so it's all good. To love all the parts of me, and accept them as part of who I am, while being refined into a better version of all those things. Particularly the temper thing, that needs a lot of work. To create, establish, and maintain personal boundaries, so that I don't come back to the version of me who actually thought that she wasn't deserving of happiness until everyone else was happy. Crazy, right?
So that's it - no reservations, no goals. Just a desire to finally love and care for the amazing and wonderful person that is Sarah.
Happy New Year with Abundant Love,
Sarah
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