The Truth Hurts

In a beautifully awful kind of way, it hurts. Rather like childbirth. The truth is painful, but it gives way to a new path, a new direction. 

 Truth: I have not been caring for myself as I should. 
Truth: I am fairly certain I have had the flu.
Truth: It is taking forever to go away.
Truth: I am obese. 

 These four truths, along with a few others which can't find words, have given birth to a new path for this tired mama. 

 I need to be more intentional. It's not a new thing for me. I throw myself on the altar of motherhood, thinking that I'm doing the right thing, and in the end, it never works out. I am a hollow shell, going through the motions doing all the "right" things, but feeling empty inside. I say "yes" to every single whim of all five of my family members, thinking that it's what a good wife and mother is supposed to do, without stopping to consider that every "yes" has a corresponding "no". If I'm saying "yes" to every single request for my attention and focus that comes along (and with four children, there are a LOT of requests for my time and focus!), then I am saying "no" to God's requests for my time and attention. 

 Saying "no" to God? Oops. 

 When I am intentionally seeking God's will and guidance, and surrendering my own agenda, maybe All Of The Things won't get done - but I'm certain that the Best Of The Things will. 

 In choosing to surrender my agenda to the Lord, it includes every bite of food I put into my mouth. Every choice I make to be active, or not. Running it past a filter of "does this help or hinder me as I try to live a life worthy of my calling?" 

Because in the end, I can do nothing in my own strength. 

 Philippians 4:13

 XO,
Sarah

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