Stuff to Do

I'm a hider. Risk-averse -despite marrying a man after only knowing each other 15 months, and then following him overseas to build a life. No, apart from that, I do not like to take risks, gamble on the unknown. Consider the following: - I wouldn't speak a word of French until I was certain I could do it perfectly. My teacher was so impressed when I finally uttered my first sentence, she thought I was going to fail the class! - In spite of being a naturally talented vocalist, I gave it up because I can't bear audtioning for parts. - When I joined the Navy to be a linguist, I could have chosen any language, but I chose Spanish because I was certain I'd be good at it. I was an excellent linguist, and I loved it - but I sabotaged myself by not maintaining fitness and weight standards. - When I write something I'm particularly proud of, I immediately develop writers' block. It's as if I've convinced myself that I cannot possibly be good at something,...

Something I have learned this last week is that no matter how well-intentioned our advice may be, it comes out of our own experience. In order to separate the helpful from the less helpful, it is essential that I change my default setting from "I am absolutely and always wrong" to "I might know a few things, and it's okay to make mistakes." I cannot assume that everyone else is always right, because if I tried to follow every piece of advice given me by every single person, I'd go mad.  I have a lot of different challenges. My kids, while being quite amazing individuals, have skill deficits in the emotional arena, as do I. We are growing together, and to be honest, those growing pains are not fun. Then someone kindly tells you that one of your children prayed for her big sister, and you realise that maybe you're not a complete failure after all. You realise that if you were such an incompetent adult, other parents wouldn't trust you with their c...